A Painfully Shy Girl Finds Her Voice: An Unexpected Challenge

The day my painfully shy voice stepped out of the shadows

painfully shy

When I was a child, I would have loved to have had the confidence I have now – but I didn’t. I often wonder how many people out there suffer the way I suffered, right up to my early adulthood. How do other painfully shy people deal with its debilitating effects?

You won’t find me in this lovely photo of my aunt’s wedding; I was hiding behind my mother, too shy to tear myself from her side. But I am no longer that person. I have grown a voice.

Below is a 3-minute video in which I share memories of the moment my voice took its first tentative steps towards independence:

painfully shy

It took 25 years for my self-confidence to find a foothold, and 25 years more to ensure permanent stability.

Books have been my escape, and my source of joy, since the day I learned to read. And of the thousands of books I have read, the one that stands out in my mind is one by Susan Jeffers, FEEL THE FEAR …AND DO IT ANYWAY.

11 Comments »

  1. It was a treat listening to you. I have known you to be sweet, loving and kind but could not guess that once you were shy.❤

    • Thank you, Samar. This is why I shared my story – to encourage anyone who feels the same way as I did when I was young. We all have the potential to grow. It’s just a matter of finding the support.

  2. Oh, that was lovely. The sound of the heartbeat was a perfect choice to underline this story! I chose to fail the intro class to my major rather than give a presentation, so that sound is so familiar. Thank you so much for sharing your story. You inspire me.

    • Thank you. That’s why I wanted to share this particular story. I’ve felt the angst of so many of my students over the years. I know the feeling.

  3. Totally identify with this. Inspiring story that addresses one of the biggest monsters we all have faced – Self-Doubt/Fear. As I’ve learned from you “Feel the fear and do it anyway”, I think that gradually this fear and self-doubt loses its power and we become stronger. Thank you for finding and expressing your voice Selma!

    • Thank you, Ross, this space is here for exactly this reason – so we can see how similar we are despite our outward differences of age, gender, culture, etc. We’re all human and we all have the potential to grow.

We'd love to hear your thoughts